Stepping out...

I am stepping out believing that this is the very road that God has paved for me to walk. Many years ago I read a quote, "The path of life is sometimes rocky, but God always give us the right shoes to travel". That isn't a direct quote but it is close...and it is VERY true.
One thing I know for sure is that I was never guranteed a life of luxery or ease. Sometimes that is hard for me to swallow...in fact, last night I prayed and cried myself to sleep. I am a person that likes control, and yet, my God wants and needs to be in control. I struggle with myself over this very issue, daily.
Monday night, at a my favorite bible study, we discussed this topic with passion. We all are born sinners and our flesh (mind) finds pleasure in sin...we are all born selfish. Once we accept Christ as our Saviour, He creates in us new life and we are a new creature. Our spirit is alive because the Holy Spirit lives within us...however, that Spirit dwells in our fleshly bodies. My mind still works and still remembers the pleasures of sin, being selfish and devoting my days to sole happiness.
In Romans, Paul describes this battle in a very personal way...A man so very close to God struggled as I do! His openness isn't meant to be discouraging but insight to the reality of being a Saint in the family of Christ! We will forever struggle with sin...but as this battle continues and we daily focus on the path that God paved, we begin to sin less and less. "Love God, do as you please." -St. Francis of Asissy-
This sums it all up...when we truly, from the depths of our soul, love God as He deserves, then we will do as we please, because our pleasure will be for His glory!
This is only what I long for...it isn't where I am. I struggle, daily...I cry, I scream, I throw fits just like my 4 year old. I want to be where I thought I would be at 29!...but, I am not..I am where He wants me...and if that means I am to sit in the fire and wait, I will wait...and when I cry out, I know He is there! He is always there...He is always here!