Sunday, February 1, 2009

Dating...Dare I?

Lately it seems that has been a hot question for those I meet...those I dearly love, and those I barely know. "Are you ready to date?" Well, I have been 'dating'...a lot of first dates...but nothing that has really caught a hold of my heart. And for that I am dearly thankful. My first and foremost commitment is to my children and our healing hearts. (you know the story, so I won't bore you with it...)
Dare I continue to date?? Well, I am not sure that I have the time, for one, and not sure that I have the desire, for second. The dates I have been on have ranged from disastrous to wonderfully memorable. I won't detail, those tidbits stay locked away.
A new adventure awaits...a second job, so for the next several months, I will be working seven days a week. Not much of a grand opportunity to be open for dating. However, does it really require speed dating to meet the man of my dreams? Not by the God I serve.
I have prayed that my God saves me from spending time sipping coffee, eating dinner, movie gazing, etc. with anyone that isn't worthy of being a step-father to my children.
Let me step out on that a bit...I am NOT looking for someone to replace their father! Just someone to love them as if they were his own, and cherish me as the love of his life...um, is that too much?!?
One major commitment...no man will meet my children until he and I are serious enough to consider a future together. And I will stick to that...
I sat down the other night and realized that whomever chooses to be ushered into our lives is going to be very special...Here is a woman that is recently divorced, lives with her parents, works two jobs, has three small children, works at a funeral home and had to walk away from her house and watch it be auctioned off...gee, honestly, it just makes me laugh. I really have come to a point that I love my life!
When it is put down on paper, it sounds so crazy! But, it is my life and I have come to accept it. I am moving forward. I will debt free in less than a year. I will own my own car. I will be able to financially let my parents be grandparents, only. Goals...they always start out small.
All this to say that I would love to date, but my focus is on my family and my relationship with Jesus Christ. Not allowing my mistakes to cover me, I move forward making a better life for us. I hope that it involves 'him' one day...my God knows who he is, and where he is, but until we are both ready...I pray he stays at bay. Prepare 'us' for him, prepare 'him' for us...until then, You are our focus.

2 comments:

Nicole said...

When my parents divorced, my mom lost pretty much everything and life was totally crazy for a while. Then out of no where, she met, well actually remet since they used to work together, my step dad and he has been so amazing. He is a perfect fit for my mom, took on one rebelious teenager and a goofy looking middle schooler even though he had already raised his kids and completly changed the course of our lives.
I wouldn't be who I am today without my stepdad.
I hope you find that man at just the right time and that you know love like you never have before.
God is ALWAYS faithful.

Anonymous said...

You will find "him"... I have faith. And, while you pray for all the great qualities that you need him to have, like being a Great God Loving man, and Love your kids, and all that important stuff.... I will take it upon myself to pray that he is RICH! After all the hard work you have been doing to support your family, and get on your feet, nothing would make me giggle louder than to see a Bill Gates type swoop in and make the rest of your life look like a spa vacation! You deserve that!