1. I don't know the real color/colors of my hair...
2. I have 3 beautiful children...Harleigh, Caleb and JP...and they are all miracles to me!
3. I love to blog.
4. I don't remember being pregnant with JP due to a rare seizure disorder that wasn't diagnosed til being pregnant with Caleb. I have been told to not have anymore children. I was taking 19 pills a day to keep me alive, literally, and so was basically sleeping through the pregnancy.
5. I work at a funeral Home....clerical work....and yes, it is quiet...and no, it isn't creepy!
6. I am a perfectionist, to the point that things that usually seems small to 'normal' people will keep me up at night. I have actually gotten out of bed to fix a blog because I awoke and realized that I had a spelling error. I make them a lot but they drive me crazy!
7. Divorced...and just fine about it.
8. I wash my face with cold water.
9. I want my own Harley!! will NOT ride on the back of someone else's (unless he's handsome and says 'Please')...and yes, that is where Harleigh gets her name. She is just a bit more feminine than the roaring engines of a dina wide glide.
10. I want to be cremated...and don't care what happens to my ashes. I am gone, doesn't bother me what anyone does with them.
11. I want to marry a cowboy...a real one, NOT a redneck! *sigh* hopefully that will happen before my hair turns silver.
12. I love sci-fi movies...(and etc. periods)
13. I dream in color every night, and had nightmares for nearly 20 years.
14. I have a major addiction to 80's music! I have met and sat with Lionel Richie in his limo while I was working for Delta Air Lines. He is so fabulous!
15. I am allergic to carrots...yep, truly! and chamomille!! can not drink calming teas...ha, will NOT be a good thing!
16. I love Jack Bauer.
17. In middle school, I wouldn't wear anything that had the color black in it...was afraid I would be considered gothic.
18. My favorite color is pink. ANY shade.
19. I smoked for 4 1/2 years...and still occasionally miss it.
20. I delivered Caleb myself...so amazing! I was in the hospital but the midwife backed away and asked if I wanted to catch him...I sat up (as much as I could) and pulled him out...it was so awesome! Tried to do it with JP but the meds worked to well and I nearly fell off the bed, HA!
21. My eyebrows are turning grey...weird.
22. I want to go back to school and get certified as a sign language interpreter!
23. I used to want to change my name to Bridgette.
24. I have broken one toe on my right foot 5 times.
25. My favorite flower is the daisy...just a plain white daisy.
Friday, January 30, 2009
mornin' mornin' mornin
I awoke this morning after a crazy night with the kids. Harleigh slept with me, not a problem, it is just crowded. She is tall but tiny and always seems to want to sleep sideways...thankfully I have a lot of pillows to put between us. The joys of motherhood, I got to listen to her sleep...deep breathes of peace...followed by round-house kicks to the ribs (priceless). JP woke up several times last night.
Not really sure why, I thought he was running a fever so I gave him motrin and crawled in bed with him...half of me hanging off the twin bed...would have been quite a sight had anyone walked in! Then this morning, he found his attitude, that apparently he didn't throw away last week as I asked him to...or it is a new hybrid version (resiliant to my crabby mommy powers). He didn't get his way (and I honestly can't remember what he wanted) and so he decided to call me 'doodoo head'...nice. Such a compliment from a 2 yr old!!
Well, at least my hair is still attached and my ribs are healing. I start a new day, seriously, blessed.
I wonder sometimes if I am doing 'it' right. "IT" being...my motherly duties. Of course I am...I am dealing with 3 kids that are beginning to realize they out number me! HA! OH, WOW!
Caleb did great this morning...it only took 20 minutes to get him out of bed today! He ate, played and even let me fix his hair. He is so handsome.
No, they aren't little adults...they are in training. *sigh* I have to remember that when they boycott my words and scream over eachother fighting for a red crayon (when we have 20 other red crayons).
So...here I go...off to work after a peaceful nights rest and a relaxing morning...ready for whatever!
Not really sure why, I thought he was running a fever so I gave him motrin and crawled in bed with him...half of me hanging off the twin bed...would have been quite a sight had anyone walked in! Then this morning, he found his attitude, that apparently he didn't throw away last week as I asked him to...or it is a new hybrid version (resiliant to my crabby mommy powers). He didn't get his way (and I honestly can't remember what he wanted) and so he decided to call me 'doodoo head'...nice. Such a compliment from a 2 yr old!!
Well, at least my hair is still attached and my ribs are healing. I start a new day, seriously, blessed.
I wonder sometimes if I am doing 'it' right. "IT" being...my motherly duties. Of course I am...I am dealing with 3 kids that are beginning to realize they out number me! HA! OH, WOW!
Caleb did great this morning...it only took 20 minutes to get him out of bed today! He ate, played and even let me fix his hair. He is so handsome.
No, they aren't little adults...they are in training. *sigh* I have to remember that when they boycott my words and scream over eachother fighting for a red crayon (when we have 20 other red crayons).
So...here I go...off to work after a peaceful nights rest and a relaxing morning...ready for whatever!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Harley Davidson....
No, I am not buying a Harley (not yet, anyway)...but I am going to adopt one of their motto's, "it's not the destination, it's the journey".
So what, I am not where I wanted to be at 29. Honestly, most people aren't where they aspire to be at a certain age. I knew I wanted to have kids, so I got that part down. I just didn't expect to be living with my parents...but I am blessed to have two of the most supportive parents, ever. okay, enough of the mushy stuff...
Shortly after the divorce began last year, I was having a really bad day and so opened my Bible...hoping for some guidance. Proverbs 31...really? Not what I had in mind. I sat there and honestly laughed..."God, you want me to read about the perfect woman, mother and friend?...yes, please make me feel worse...!" I read and came across a verse that I apparently had never seen before..., "strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future." WOW! Not that my garments are made of strength and dignity...it seems more of weakness and fear, but I can make a choice to smile. That is MY choice. We can either become what our circumstances make us or we can shape our circumstances into what we want.
Sure, a divorce isn't much like eating a nice slice of key lime pie, however, it is a new beginning. It is a fresh start. It IS still part of my life, part of my journey. All of my circumstances make me into something wonderful if I let them. Everything is a choice...everything.
I have been clothed in fear and confusion for so very long that it will take time for that change, but, as my grandmother always said..."one day at a time".
It has been 11 months since moving in with my parents...it has been hard, it has been wonderful. It has been an enormous part of my journey. I have made new friends, had to let others go...started a new job, paid off bills, put my belongings in storage and made a new life. There is always something else that has the potential to throw me off...my house is scheduled to be auctioned off in a couple of weeks. My home, sold to the highest bidder. Hard to swallow...*sigh*. However, yet, again...another piece to my puzzle. I am not going to let it get me down. I choose to smile at my future...even if I have to force it at times...I will smile.
Honestly, I sit back and am amazed...I have a wonderful life. Three amazing kids, supportive parents, great job, almost debt free...I think I have a life that has the potential to make others jealous...woah! Now, all I need is a God-fearing cowboy, and I am set...! (all in due time)
The journey is the beautiful thing...it makes the destination worth the wait!
So what, I am not where I wanted to be at 29. Honestly, most people aren't where they aspire to be at a certain age. I knew I wanted to have kids, so I got that part down. I just didn't expect to be living with my parents...but I am blessed to have two of the most supportive parents, ever. okay, enough of the mushy stuff...
Shortly after the divorce began last year, I was having a really bad day and so opened my Bible...hoping for some guidance. Proverbs 31...really? Not what I had in mind. I sat there and honestly laughed..."God, you want me to read about the perfect woman, mother and friend?...yes, please make me feel worse...!" I read and came across a verse that I apparently had never seen before..., "strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future." WOW! Not that my garments are made of strength and dignity...it seems more of weakness and fear, but I can make a choice to smile. That is MY choice. We can either become what our circumstances make us or we can shape our circumstances into what we want.
Sure, a divorce isn't much like eating a nice slice of key lime pie, however, it is a new beginning. It is a fresh start. It IS still part of my life, part of my journey. All of my circumstances make me into something wonderful if I let them. Everything is a choice...everything.
I have been clothed in fear and confusion for so very long that it will take time for that change, but, as my grandmother always said..."one day at a time".
It has been 11 months since moving in with my parents...it has been hard, it has been wonderful. It has been an enormous part of my journey. I have made new friends, had to let others go...started a new job, paid off bills, put my belongings in storage and made a new life. There is always something else that has the potential to throw me off...my house is scheduled to be auctioned off in a couple of weeks. My home, sold to the highest bidder. Hard to swallow...*sigh*. However, yet, again...another piece to my puzzle. I am not going to let it get me down. I choose to smile at my future...even if I have to force it at times...I will smile.
Honestly, I sit back and am amazed...I have a wonderful life. Three amazing kids, supportive parents, great job, almost debt free...I think I have a life that has the potential to make others jealous...woah! Now, all I need is a God-fearing cowboy, and I am set...! (all in due time)
The journey is the beautiful thing...it makes the destination worth the wait!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
We love life...
Princess Blue...who'd a thunk it, short sleeves in the middle of January!
not to mention a popcicle in January!!
Nice....just picture the bike with an engine! LOVE IT!
ride that bike, big boy!
Merry Christmas, kiddos!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
update...
As of this week...all 3 kids are spending time with a new friend during the day. JP loves it! I do take all three kids to three different places in the morning but I only pick them up from one place! She is amazing! She loves the kids as if they are her own. That makes me so comfortable! *sigh* Harleigh rides the school bus over to her house in the afternoon...boy does she think she is top doll! I think that begging is the appropriate description of her wanting to ride the bus...I have heard about this since she started school. dream come true for Harleigh girl...lol.
A great surprise...I get to leave work and pick up Caleb every day from school and take him to her house! I love it...we get some one on one time every day. It is wonderful! Full on sprinting toward me when I get there; wow, my heart soars!
It is hard to leave them with someone else but to know who they are with and that she cares for them...well, it makes it so much easier!
A great surprise...I get to leave work and pick up Caleb every day from school and take him to her house! I love it...we get some one on one time every day. It is wonderful! Full on sprinting toward me when I get there; wow, my heart soars!
It is hard to leave them with someone else but to know who they are with and that she cares for them...well, it makes it so much easier!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
too busy...
Sometimes in life...well, most times in life, we get too busy to notice the chaos of insanity protuding all around us in the lives of those we love.
This morning, and my heart still aches, I awoke to a message from a friend that I have had for a very long time...she opened her heart to me. She is angry with me, she is frustrated and just plain upset. She is living in the midst of a family tragedy and I didn't know. She is wearing pain everyday and I haven't acknowledged it.
No, I am not writing this to explain my side, nor excuse my stupidity. I am just sorry. My life has become too busy. When we are unable to see the pain of others, to notice the sorrow in their lives, we have no choice but to slow down. Even if we only see them through the eyes of virtual reading glasses, we must still pay attention. Even if our only encounters are by way of cyber-space, we must still take a deep breath and notice their lives.
I have no excuse...being too busy is not an excuse, well, not a good one. She has always been a special person to me, a person that has held a dear place in my life since, well for more than 15 years.
Through her pain, I am praying for her and her family. She is a precious person, always has been and always will be, to me and I know to anyone who has the honor to call her 'friend'.
This morning, and my heart still aches, I awoke to a message from a friend that I have had for a very long time...she opened her heart to me. She is angry with me, she is frustrated and just plain upset. She is living in the midst of a family tragedy and I didn't know. She is wearing pain everyday and I haven't acknowledged it.
No, I am not writing this to explain my side, nor excuse my stupidity. I am just sorry. My life has become too busy. When we are unable to see the pain of others, to notice the sorrow in their lives, we have no choice but to slow down. Even if we only see them through the eyes of virtual reading glasses, we must still pay attention. Even if our only encounters are by way of cyber-space, we must still take a deep breath and notice their lives.
I have no excuse...being too busy is not an excuse, well, not a good one. She has always been a special person to me, a person that has held a dear place in my life since, well for more than 15 years.
Through her pain, I am praying for her and her family. She is a precious person, always has been and always will be, to me and I know to anyone who has the honor to call her 'friend'.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year....
And so it begins...
The world was to implode only 9 years ago...wow, we made it! 9 years have past and what a time it has been. Well, here we are ushering in the year two thousand and nine! What will it bring, what comes sliding in on it's coat tails? All in due time...
Before we can think about this coming year, it usually consists of sitting back and reviewing the past year. And what a year it has been...I think I have covered the entire spectrum of emotions in only 365 days. Countless snorts and tears...cupped with giggles, wails and even just some moments of silence. I am at a point in my life where I have stopped regretting things, they have made me who I am, who I am becoming...and God is fully prepared to handle it ALL! Since He doesn't have to sit at a desk holding his brow cramming for the "what-ifs" of my life, I can rest knowing that He has got it under control....well, that is IF I let go of it.
He and I had a heart-to-heart today about this upcoming year...and no, it wasn't me begging and pleading for a better year (i.e. winning the lottery, my cowboy finally riding up....) it was begging and pleading for help in letting go. I am a control freak - and for those that know me, really know me, understand that...it is hard for me. I want to know everything, understand everything, be prepared for everything and NEVER EVER be surprised...but, dang-it, God runs things differently. And oddly, it has taken 29 1/2 years to get to a point to 'start' understanding that He really does want me to fully let go of it all...not just some of it, not just the easy stuff. He wants it all..."Therefore, do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34) HHEELLOO....it is right here, tomorrow is gonna be hard enough, concentrate on today!
So really, I don't go into this year with resolutions, I just want to 'let life go'! I have fouled up things enough doing them my way...let's do it His way! and usually that involves insane amounts of patience....so, it's a good thing I don't have a lot on my plate or I might go insane! Oh wait.....BRING IT ON! "HE WHO IS IN ME IS GREATER THAN HE WHO IS IN THE WORLD."
The world was to implode only 9 years ago...wow, we made it! 9 years have past and what a time it has been. Well, here we are ushering in the year two thousand and nine! What will it bring, what comes sliding in on it's coat tails? All in due time...
Before we can think about this coming year, it usually consists of sitting back and reviewing the past year. And what a year it has been...I think I have covered the entire spectrum of emotions in only 365 days. Countless snorts and tears...cupped with giggles, wails and even just some moments of silence. I am at a point in my life where I have stopped regretting things, they have made me who I am, who I am becoming...and God is fully prepared to handle it ALL! Since He doesn't have to sit at a desk holding his brow cramming for the "what-ifs" of my life, I can rest knowing that He has got it under control....well, that is IF I let go of it.
He and I had a heart-to-heart today about this upcoming year...and no, it wasn't me begging and pleading for a better year (i.e. winning the lottery, my cowboy finally riding up....) it was begging and pleading for help in letting go. I am a control freak - and for those that know me, really know me, understand that...it is hard for me. I want to know everything, understand everything, be prepared for everything and NEVER EVER be surprised...but, dang-it, God runs things differently. And oddly, it has taken 29 1/2 years to get to a point to 'start' understanding that He really does want me to fully let go of it all...not just some of it, not just the easy stuff. He wants it all..."Therefore, do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34) HHEELLOO....it is right here, tomorrow is gonna be hard enough, concentrate on today!
So really, I don't go into this year with resolutions, I just want to 'let life go'! I have fouled up things enough doing them my way...let's do it His way! and usually that involves insane amounts of patience....so, it's a good thing I don't have a lot on my plate or I might go insane! Oh wait.....BRING IT ON! "HE WHO IS IN ME IS GREATER THAN HE WHO IS IN THE WORLD."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
