Wednesday, October 8, 2008

recovery for four, please...

One month ago, I ventured into a land I did not desire to even stumble upon. I attended an emotional recovery group. I cried for days before hand. Yes, you are probably thinking that I am extremely emotional, and you would be right...and that would be a good reason to be at an 'emotional' recovery group!
I cried only because I am terrefied to stand before my life and relive pain. I decided I wasn't going to go, however a very inspirational friend told me that I had no choice. My children deserve for their mom to be whole~completely whole. So...
Four weeks ago I walked into a room of 6 other women and we began the struggle, together. To be honest, I can't stand it. I don't want to be there. I love those women, but I hate dealing with this pain. I am fighting with myself every time I go. I just look at my children and know that she was right, they DO deserve it!
For the next 18 weeks, I will be disecting my life and trodding toward this vision of healing. I have not tasted it yet, so it is only a vision. If I get there, you will know! I will scream from the roof-tops (well, maybe from the window) and share my joy. For now, I will sit and drink my coffee and realize I am not as screwed up as I was last week!

1 comment:

Nicole said...

I'd like to think I'm less screwed up than I was last week. Too bad that'll never happen for ME :)
love ya
Nicole