Caleb giving his coach some lovin'
I am a proud momma
My absolute FAVORITE picture!!!
Harleigh and momma watchin Caba play...
it was a bit hot out!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Caleb playin' soccer
Caleb giving his coach some lovin'
I am a proud momma
My absolute FAVORITE picture!!!
Harleigh and momma watchin Caba play...
Random pics
Harleigh and Mommy going on a tea party trip.
thought I would get the started young on shaving...
At our tea party...Mommy, Harleigh and Grammie
JP's first day of school...all my big kids.
we say "YES" to child labor...
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
right now, yeah....it's hard
It has been a few weeks since my last posting...less time, less postings.
Right now, breathing is hard and it isn't bronchitis. I am just tired. I am frustrated and laying pretty low.
My birthday was 2 weeks ago today and that was a hard day. I stayed at home and cried most of the day. Birthdays tend to be reflections of our lives; are we where we thought we should be by this particular time? For me, I was devestated. I am a 29 year old single mom of three beautiful babies...starving for direction on how to provide for them.
I understand that life could be worse, so if that is what you are thinking, I know it already. BUT, I am tired of being on the bottom. I want to be above water for a while.
Please don't get me wrong here...everything I have been writting is true. God has been providing for us and leading us down this rocky path. However, right now I just want to see a little bit furthur than the tips of my toes.
I started my job last week and it is great. I get my first paycheck this friday and it is already spent. I barely sleep at night because my mind doesn't stop rolling about how to move forward.
Last wednesday I raced to Atlanta thinking I was going to be on time. I was late. I parked 5 blocks from the building and ran shoeless down Spring Street. I got there just in time - in time to hear my ex-husbands bankruptcy attorney say that he is free and clear of any and all responsibility in the foreclosure of our home. Yes, a run down...it is all on me now. I am scared to death. I am trying so hard to do the right thing. I am trying to pay off all my debt and stand tall by not filing bankruptcy.
But here I am terrefied that I might not have any other choice. And if I don't file then I face foreclosure and a possible law suit from the mortgage company. And if they don't come after me right away for the money, it could be anytime in the next few years.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to take care of my kids.
I dream of a future that consists of me not depending on anyone for anything. I want my parents to be able to enjoy being grandparents...that isn't happening right now. (that will be another post.)
I do love my job, I do. For most people they go to work thinking about needing a break - my job IS my break. I don't have to think about anything that I have to do, I can focus on helping families say goodbye to their loved ones. That is my focus from 9-4.
I am tired, frustrated, sad and extremely lonely. I fear that I traded one lonely life for another.
God what is your plan for me...I can't do this alone. I can't spend my life crying myself to sleep and scraping the concealer to hide the puffy eyes. I know you came to give me life abundantly, when does it start? Where does it start? How do I get there?
I can't, You can - PLEASE DO!!!
Right now, breathing is hard and it isn't bronchitis. I am just tired. I am frustrated and laying pretty low.
My birthday was 2 weeks ago today and that was a hard day. I stayed at home and cried most of the day. Birthdays tend to be reflections of our lives; are we where we thought we should be by this particular time? For me, I was devestated. I am a 29 year old single mom of three beautiful babies...starving for direction on how to provide for them.
I understand that life could be worse, so if that is what you are thinking, I know it already. BUT, I am tired of being on the bottom. I want to be above water for a while.
Please don't get me wrong here...everything I have been writting is true. God has been providing for us and leading us down this rocky path. However, right now I just want to see a little bit furthur than the tips of my toes.
I started my job last week and it is great. I get my first paycheck this friday and it is already spent. I barely sleep at night because my mind doesn't stop rolling about how to move forward.
Last wednesday I raced to Atlanta thinking I was going to be on time. I was late. I parked 5 blocks from the building and ran shoeless down Spring Street. I got there just in time - in time to hear my ex-husbands bankruptcy attorney say that he is free and clear of any and all responsibility in the foreclosure of our home. Yes, a run down...it is all on me now. I am scared to death. I am trying so hard to do the right thing. I am trying to pay off all my debt and stand tall by not filing bankruptcy.
But here I am terrefied that I might not have any other choice. And if I don't file then I face foreclosure and a possible law suit from the mortgage company. And if they don't come after me right away for the money, it could be anytime in the next few years.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to take care of my kids.
I dream of a future that consists of me not depending on anyone for anything. I want my parents to be able to enjoy being grandparents...that isn't happening right now. (that will be another post.)
I do love my job, I do. For most people they go to work thinking about needing a break - my job IS my break. I don't have to think about anything that I have to do, I can focus on helping families say goodbye to their loved ones. That is my focus from 9-4.
I am tired, frustrated, sad and extremely lonely. I fear that I traded one lonely life for another.
God what is your plan for me...I can't do this alone. I can't spend my life crying myself to sleep and scraping the concealer to hide the puffy eyes. I know you came to give me life abundantly, when does it start? Where does it start? How do I get there?
I can't, You can - PLEASE DO!!!
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