Tomorrow embarks a new beginning. Harleigh will leave kindergarten and Caleb will leave preschool...wow! They are thrilled to be moving up and Caleb can't wait to go to the same school as his big sister! For now, they will have a very busy summer. Next week, they will go on an adventure to the mountains with their Grammie and Pa. It will be GREAT for them...I will be here, working, ho hum. Then the next week, they will be with their dad for the week, and I can guess they will probably be fishing (which they love). And...after that, they start summer camp at the Fayette YMCA.
Sooooo, mountains, dads and YMCA...wow. A FULL SUMMER! They are such amazing kids and I am so proud of them. Constant growing and learning and they make me proud EVERYDAY! I will miss them for the nearly 2 weeks they are gone, but their summer is going to be tons of fun...
Thursday, May 28, 2009
surgery day
Tomorrow morning, Pizzle is having surgery to remove his Adenoids, FINALLY! um, no, I am not enjoying the fact that he is having surgery, BUT I am looking forward to him sleeping during the night. Right now, he wakes up at least once or twice every night. He doesn't breathe through his nose AT ALL. There is also some tissue the is in between his adenoids and nasal cavities that is too large. It is pretty much blocking him from using his nose. Snoring, for him, is normal.
It has taken nearly 4 months to get this surgery together. From insurance to doctor's scheduling, it seemed forever. BUT, tomorrow will start the new life of pure sleeping for him.
I get to go back there with him til he falls asleep, thankfully! He just thinks he is going to the doctor, he has no clue what is happening. How do you explain 'surgery' to a 2 year old? you can't! My precious little boy...Thank you, Lord for insurance (real insurance) to allow us to be the healthiest we can! He has been covered in prayer, so I am not concerned, at all!
It has taken nearly 4 months to get this surgery together. From insurance to doctor's scheduling, it seemed forever. BUT, tomorrow will start the new life of pure sleeping for him.
I get to go back there with him til he falls asleep, thankfully! He just thinks he is going to the doctor, he has no clue what is happening. How do you explain 'surgery' to a 2 year old? you can't! My precious little boy...Thank you, Lord for insurance (real insurance) to allow us to be the healthiest we can! He has been covered in prayer, so I am not concerned, at all!
Friday, May 22, 2009
school days
School is big in our family. Harleigh is graduating to first grade!! WHAT!?!?! Caleb is graduating to kindergarten!! WHAT!!?!? At least I have one child that isn't running away yet...but he is potty training and telling us that he is 'a big boy'! I am so proud of my kids...of our life together!
I will graduate from Ashford University with a Bachelor's Degree in Sociology approximately June 6, 2009. I can't believe it! I am going to actually graduate from college. That 10 year break flew by...ha, yea right. I am currently taking Psych 202 and will finish in 2 weeks and start taking Sociology 101. The only downfall is ordering my books. It is more expensive than getting my hair done...shoot, it is more expensive than if we all got our hair done!
BUT...when it is all said and done, I will be a college graduate. The kicker is to definetly make sure I graduate before my kids!
I will graduate from Ashford University with a Bachelor's Degree in Sociology approximately June 6, 2009. I can't believe it! I am going to actually graduate from college. That 10 year break flew by...ha, yea right. I am currently taking Psych 202 and will finish in 2 weeks and start taking Sociology 101. The only downfall is ordering my books. It is more expensive than getting my hair done...shoot, it is more expensive than if we all got our hair done!
BUT...when it is all said and done, I will be a college graduate. The kicker is to definetly make sure I graduate before my kids!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
My first Psych mini-paper!
Psychoanalytic Theory - a theory based on the idea that development stems from the internal drive reacting to experiences in infacy and childhood. Both Freud and Erikson believed that the relationship between infant and caregiver played a large part on development through adulthood. However, Freud focused more on the idea that development is more like a chain reaction. The body makes a demand which leads to actions to achieve the satisfaction of that demand but becomes more complex if the 'superego' is unable to rationalize the need for that demand to be fulfilled. Erikson, although he agreed with Freud on some levels, believed that life is more in stages than a chain reaction. For a person to truly be healthy, he must achieve success within each stage by facing certain crises and being able to overcome them. For instance, an infant quickly learns wether to place trust in his caregiver or if mistrust develops it plays a large role in how he achieves success in the later stages.
Learning Theory - the theory that our behavior is conditioned by 'operant conditioning' or through 'observational learning'. A certain behavior can either be encouraged by reinforcement or even extinguished by ignoring it. For instance, while driving my children to school I can either get frustrated and argue with them because of their continued fussing, or I can ignore it and they notice that it has not gained my attention and therefore, they move on to get my focus another way. If I argue with them and give them attention then they will most likely continue to fuss the next morning because they got a response out of me, positive or negative. If I ignore them, they are forced to change their behavior and thus the fussing is now extinguished, meaning they are less likely to do it again tomorrow.
Cognitive Theory - the theory that our image of the world develops from our mind processing the why's and how's of certain circumstances. We use our thinking to determine the cause and effect. We learn to 'accomidate' ourselves to the world around us based on previous experiences. A child often learns a hot stove is not to be touched by infact touching it. My 3 year old son did not listen to my instruction to stay away from the stove because it was hot and instead wanted to understand what I meant. He placed his hand flat on the burner for only a moment and burnt his hand severly. His cognitive resolution is to never touch the stove again. He learned through experience and used his mind to determine how to protect himself in the future. He not only learned to not touch the stove, but learned the meaning of 'hot' and how to prevent future burns. One incident caused him to stay far away from things that are hot and that listening to my advice infact does benefit him.
Erik Erikson
Erikson described life in stages and that through each stage the person must face and successfully navigate through certain crises. For instance, the middle adulthood crisis is "Generativity versus stagnation". I wake up everyday in that exact stage. I am a single mom of three small children and I have a choice to make eachday. I can better myself by helping develop the lives of my children to be successful adults or I can view my life without purpose and push them furthur from having a healthy adulthood. Truly, eachday is a challenge. I wake up before the sun and get ready, get the kids up and ready for school, go to work, get off work and pick them up, go to their afternoon activities, home to eat dinner, get them ready for bed and then, now, I have added additional hours to my day by studying. I could allow my life to become so mundane and self-absorbed that I am no benefit to my children, or I can realize that as I continue to grow, it is infact pushing them toward a lifestyle of never giving up. I am serving the next generation by raising healthy, successful adults that will continue the cycle and one day raise healthy, successful adults.
Learning Theory - the theory that our behavior is conditioned by 'operant conditioning' or through 'observational learning'. A certain behavior can either be encouraged by reinforcement or even extinguished by ignoring it. For instance, while driving my children to school I can either get frustrated and argue with them because of their continued fussing, or I can ignore it and they notice that it has not gained my attention and therefore, they move on to get my focus another way. If I argue with them and give them attention then they will most likely continue to fuss the next morning because they got a response out of me, positive or negative. If I ignore them, they are forced to change their behavior and thus the fussing is now extinguished, meaning they are less likely to do it again tomorrow.
Cognitive Theory - the theory that our image of the world develops from our mind processing the why's and how's of certain circumstances. We use our thinking to determine the cause and effect. We learn to 'accomidate' ourselves to the world around us based on previous experiences. A child often learns a hot stove is not to be touched by infact touching it. My 3 year old son did not listen to my instruction to stay away from the stove because it was hot and instead wanted to understand what I meant. He placed his hand flat on the burner for only a moment and burnt his hand severly. His cognitive resolution is to never touch the stove again. He learned through experience and used his mind to determine how to protect himself in the future. He not only learned to not touch the stove, but learned the meaning of 'hot' and how to prevent future burns. One incident caused him to stay far away from things that are hot and that listening to my advice infact does benefit him.
Erik Erikson
Erikson described life in stages and that through each stage the person must face and successfully navigate through certain crises. For instance, the middle adulthood crisis is "Generativity versus stagnation". I wake up everyday in that exact stage. I am a single mom of three small children and I have a choice to make eachday. I can better myself by helping develop the lives of my children to be successful adults or I can view my life without purpose and push them furthur from having a healthy adulthood. Truly, eachday is a challenge. I wake up before the sun and get ready, get the kids up and ready for school, go to work, get off work and pick them up, go to their afternoon activities, home to eat dinner, get them ready for bed and then, now, I have added additional hours to my day by studying. I could allow my life to become so mundane and self-absorbed that I am no benefit to my children, or I can realize that as I continue to grow, it is infact pushing them toward a lifestyle of never giving up. I am serving the next generation by raising healthy, successful adults that will continue the cycle and one day raise healthy, successful adults.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
More T-Ball (should now be called pre-ball)
Caleb and Uncle Phil
Caba got the GAME BALL!
Coach signing the game ball! GO CABA! Two doubles that night!
Yep...momma is proud!
Family! gotta love it! Uncle Phil, Harleigh, Grammie, JP, Pa and Dad! and Mom, always behind the camera!
Five...one whole hand!
Happy Birthday, Caba!
At 7:00 PM on April 30, 2004, Caleb Daniel Sutton was born with a hefty scream! What a beautiful baby he was and now such a handsome boy!
Let me share his story...it began with my seizures spiking and was sent to the hospital (not knowing I was pregnant) and was given all the wrong medicines. Later that week, I took a test, and yep, I was with child. At four months, the ultrasound showed that he had cysts on his brain. I remember seeing the picture...his tiny little brain, invaded. The doctor turned to me and suggested that I have an abortion. I didn't hesitate, no way! NOT an option. He then told Caleb's dad and I that the baby would most likely not survive the pregnancy. My body would most likely either have an abrupt abortion on it's own, or he would die shortly after birth. They said he might have Trisomy 18, the fatal form of Down Syndrome. Hal and I sat in the car, after the appointment, and just talked...we decided at that point, to name him Caleb Daniel...for he would fight, we just knew it! We had a strong baby boy, and he would live. At five months, we went back for another ultrasound, and the cysts were gone! God heard our cries and saved him. I love this little boy SO much...he is now 5 years old and strong!
To look at him and know that I could have taken his life, I could have chosen to give up on him...but here he is, PERFECT! I can take the attitude problems, the back-talk, the hysterical piercing laughter, the food fights...all for the kisses and hugs I get from him! He is a passionate little boy with an infectious smile! Thank you, God, for his life...for letting me be his mom! Cheers, to five years of beautiful crazieness!
At 7:00 PM on April 30, 2004, Caleb Daniel Sutton was born with a hefty scream! What a beautiful baby he was and now such a handsome boy!
Let me share his story...it began with my seizures spiking and was sent to the hospital (not knowing I was pregnant) and was given all the wrong medicines. Later that week, I took a test, and yep, I was with child. At four months, the ultrasound showed that he had cysts on his brain. I remember seeing the picture...his tiny little brain, invaded. The doctor turned to me and suggested that I have an abortion. I didn't hesitate, no way! NOT an option. He then told Caleb's dad and I that the baby would most likely not survive the pregnancy. My body would most likely either have an abrupt abortion on it's own, or he would die shortly after birth. They said he might have Trisomy 18, the fatal form of Down Syndrome. Hal and I sat in the car, after the appointment, and just talked...we decided at that point, to name him Caleb Daniel...for he would fight, we just knew it! We had a strong baby boy, and he would live. At five months, we went back for another ultrasound, and the cysts were gone! God heard our cries and saved him. I love this little boy SO much...he is now 5 years old and strong!
To look at him and know that I could have taken his life, I could have chosen to give up on him...but here he is, PERFECT! I can take the attitude problems, the back-talk, the hysterical piercing laughter, the food fights...all for the kisses and hugs I get from him! He is a passionate little boy with an infectious smile! Thank you, God, for his life...for letting me be his mom! Cheers, to five years of beautiful crazieness!
school
Starting school on Tuesday has become that last nerve quivering...I am nervous. I have been looking into this for over a year and now I am two days away from my first class. Part of me is screaming, "HOORAY" but the other part of me is screaming, "WHAT HAVE I DONE?"!
But the motivation of not being the only McFarlin to not graduate college is overwhelming. That status is being terminated!
Psych 202 starts May 5, 2009...not sure what that involves, but I have my books. Books that cost more than any piece of clothing in my closet, plus the shoes to match...and the purse! In fact, the 'guide book' for the University is bigger than both of my school books...!
I was reading a letter from the President of the University the other night and I began to cry...the thought of graduating college, of walking across a platform to be handed a diploma, it was almost overwhelming. I know this is going to be hard, but I can do it...and I will!
But the motivation of not being the only McFarlin to not graduate college is overwhelming. That status is being terminated!
Psych 202 starts May 5, 2009...not sure what that involves, but I have my books. Books that cost more than any piece of clothing in my closet, plus the shoes to match...and the purse! In fact, the 'guide book' for the University is bigger than both of my school books...!
I was reading a letter from the President of the University the other night and I began to cry...the thought of graduating college, of walking across a platform to be handed a diploma, it was almost overwhelming. I know this is going to be hard, but I can do it...and I will!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Goals...big and small!!!!
Okay, let's begin this with a sigh....breathe with me...
Thrilling doesn't begin to cover it. I am overwhelmed, in a good way. I have only had my job for 8 months and am shocked to sit down and realize all that has been done. It doesn't work on paper...and by that I mean, it shouldn't have happened, but it did and it continues. I have paid off $7000 in debt in a little over a year! WOAH! I said it! UH-mazing! This time next year, I anticipate being totally debt free...and yes, I will scream at Dave Ramsey when it happens. well, not 'at' him, but surely on his radio show!!! maybe he will remember me from 2 years ago...single mom, totally engulfed in debt and not an idea of how to get out...AND now. yeah, I am pretty excited!
now, let's share my little goal reached! I purchased a new pair of glasses 3 weeks ago...paid in cash!! I saved up for them and I bought the ones I wanted! ALSO, I did it without vision insurance! I said it...
I still have a ways to go...childcare is inevitable for at least 2 more years; when JP is in school it will be like getting a raise.
I am slowly learning to count my blessings everyday...to make goals (reachable ones) and mark them off! off we go...
Thrilling doesn't begin to cover it. I am overwhelmed, in a good way. I have only had my job for 8 months and am shocked to sit down and realize all that has been done. It doesn't work on paper...and by that I mean, it shouldn't have happened, but it did and it continues. I have paid off $7000 in debt in a little over a year! WOAH! I said it! UH-mazing! This time next year, I anticipate being totally debt free...and yes, I will scream at Dave Ramsey when it happens. well, not 'at' him, but surely on his radio show!!! maybe he will remember me from 2 years ago...single mom, totally engulfed in debt and not an idea of how to get out...AND now. yeah, I am pretty excited!
now, let's share my little goal reached! I purchased a new pair of glasses 3 weeks ago...paid in cash!! I saved up for them and I bought the ones I wanted! ALSO, I did it without vision insurance! I said it...
I still have a ways to go...childcare is inevitable for at least 2 more years; when JP is in school it will be like getting a raise.
I am slowly learning to count my blessings everyday...to make goals (reachable ones) and mark them off! off we go...
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Paint on...
This past year has been hard, very hard. I have fought and kicked and even screamed at God because of my life. Angry to be exact. Mainly angry with myself. Angry that I allowed myself to get here.
Let me clarify. Ten years ago, I had it together, I was working and earning GREAT money and was planning on buying me a great car. I did buy it, a beautiful black 2000 Celica. Oh, she was so lovely. I adored that car! And it was ALL mine...well, I was making the payments on it. I was skinny and taking great care of myself. I LOVED life!
But for some reason I began to make the wrong decisions. I changed jobs and made some new friends, ones that I should have walked away from. I did, however, make some amazing friends whom I still adore. But I allowed the 'other' ones to impact my life in the wrong ways. I had always been so careful who I let into my life, but I have issue with control and pride. (yes, I am being VERY open here) And would never, ever let anyone tell me what to do. So, I continued to rebel. Don't get me wrong, I was still the 'good' girl because I would let myself rebel only so far (or so I thought). But anytime we go against the will of God, we are rebelling...there are no levels, it is just plain and simple.
I am responsible for my decisions in my life...it is a lesson that is taking me a long time to understand. I specifically use the word 'is' because it continues. That is the reason for my struggle with severe anger. Why did I let myself break God's plan? Why did I choose something different than His desires? Pride. Rebellion. Pure desire to control my own life.
I am capable of sharing all of this because I am experiencing freedom. God has forgiven me for my pride, for my rebellion...and I am working on forgiving myself. I have not doubted God's love for me...nor His faithfulness. He is who He says He is! My anger toward Him was because I wanted Him to step in and make me do the right thing and He didn't. He is a gentleman and I am not a robot for Him to control.
Freewill. He allowed me to make those decisions in my life and He is more than capable of making my life beautiful inspite of them. BUT, I must let Him create in me a new canvas. Being still is NOT easy.
In the words of Dr. Phil, "How's that working out for ya?"! HA. true, true, very true! IT ISN'T!
that is where my freedom and complete redemption flows...God being in control. I love life and yet, it isn't mine. If I am to be the lady that He designed, I must realize that it is NOT too late and I must resign my rights. He is NOT my co-pilot...I am the passenger and He flies solo!
from this point on, I am real, I am free and I am indeed a new creation that is being designed with His paint brush. Paint on, Jesus, paint on!
the funeral business...
As most of you know, I work at a funeral home here in Fayetteville. I am going to clear up any confusion about my occupation of choice - well, gift.
I started this job eight months ago and it has been a whirl wind ever since. I never imagined setting foot into a funeral home by choice, much less laughing while I am there. Thankful isn't quite the word to describe my expression for my job...I think 'blessed' is more accurate. It has been a hard job because it is unlike anything I have every done in my life...ever. And it has taken a long time to become familiar with how a funeral home functions.
A typical day consists of writing obituaries, filling out death certificates, calling doctors that still need to sign a death certificate, printing memorial folders, a lot of typing on yes, a typewriter, spending a lot of time on the phone answering questions about service times, and accepting payments for services.
It can definitely be a sad job at times...especially when children or young people have passed away. However, I have begun to take pride in my humble position of being able to take care of specifialy needed things that the family shouldn't have to think on further.
Yes, there are days that I have cried. A specifically sad day was when a little baby had died from the very same illness that doctors said would take Caleb's life. Tears and a sigh of gratefulness filled my heart, knowing that my Caleb is almost 5 years old and healthy.
One main question that I get is, "how can you work in a funeral home, knowing that there are dead (whispered) people there?" Honestly, i think that knowing death isn't the finale; knowing there is truly life after death is an amazing comfort. When I see anyone that has passed (and I don't see them much since I work in the office) I know that the person that was so loved by their family is no longer there, this is only their vessel.
The most grateful thing is that I can take care of my kids more and more financially. I DO miss being at home with them...it is hard seeing them only for a few hours everyday, but I do what I have to do - for them. It is all for them...as a parent, we often do things that are difficult knowing that the end result is far better than the discomfort of the situation. It is called sacrifice. My job is a job, but it is also a true gift. One gift that I am so very thankful to have, even on the hard days, I am thankful.
I started this job eight months ago and it has been a whirl wind ever since. I never imagined setting foot into a funeral home by choice, much less laughing while I am there. Thankful isn't quite the word to describe my expression for my job...I think 'blessed' is more accurate. It has been a hard job because it is unlike anything I have every done in my life...ever. And it has taken a long time to become familiar with how a funeral home functions.
A typical day consists of writing obituaries, filling out death certificates, calling doctors that still need to sign a death certificate, printing memorial folders, a lot of typing on yes, a typewriter, spending a lot of time on the phone answering questions about service times, and accepting payments for services.
It can definitely be a sad job at times...especially when children or young people have passed away. However, I have begun to take pride in my humble position of being able to take care of specifialy needed things that the family shouldn't have to think on further.
Yes, there are days that I have cried. A specifically sad day was when a little baby had died from the very same illness that doctors said would take Caleb's life. Tears and a sigh of gratefulness filled my heart, knowing that my Caleb is almost 5 years old and healthy.
One main question that I get is, "how can you work in a funeral home, knowing that there are dead (whispered) people there?" Honestly, i think that knowing death isn't the finale; knowing there is truly life after death is an amazing comfort. When I see anyone that has passed (and I don't see them much since I work in the office) I know that the person that was so loved by their family is no longer there, this is only their vessel.
The most grateful thing is that I can take care of my kids more and more financially. I DO miss being at home with them...it is hard seeing them only for a few hours everyday, but I do what I have to do - for them. It is all for them...as a parent, we often do things that are difficult knowing that the end result is far better than the discomfort of the situation. It is called sacrifice. My job is a job, but it is also a true gift. One gift that I am so very thankful to have, even on the hard days, I am thankful.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Random pictures
Easter Sunday
the family after church
yes, we all matched, and isn't it perfect!!??
yes, we all matched, and isn't it perfect!!??
Harleigh and "Gabriella"
getting ready to color eggs
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